You know the amazing thing about being single? Is discovering yourself. Discovering life. Taking time to explore. Discover new interests and really indulge in the interests you know you have.
Tonight, I am sitting in a wine bar in Cork. I am drinking a beautiful Pinot Noir from Chile. The sun is shining. I am writing on my laptop. In a few minutes, I will leave here and go to Salsa class. On nights like this, I feel like life is pretty perfect.
I am in an entirely new season in my life. Though I face difficulties and struggles, I am innately happy. My biggest desires are to spend more time with my children, become truly successful and to travel the world. But I am really loving pursuing my dreams. I am enjoying discovering new interests, trying new things and indulging myself in the interests that I have.
I am also learning who I am. What exactly I do like. What I love. Who I am, and who I want to be. And what I want in a man and a relationship. In fact, when I do fall in love again, I want our lives to be complimentary, not dependant.
In this time, I want to gain such a sense of individuality and self-worth that I will not let anybody mistreat me …. Nor will I mistreat anybody. I want to walk in love and to hold high enough standards that I won’t succumb to those who don’t treat me the way I desire to be treated.
I want to work hard.
I want time with my kids; quality time. I want my kids to be genuinely happy. I want them to have a hunger for life, a love for travel and for people – and for books. If I can instil a love for books in my kids then they will always know nothing is out of their reach….anything is possible. This is my desire and mission as a mom – second to their knowing how fully and deeply I love them. I also want them to be very secure in who they are – in their own identities and talents and strengths. They need not know their weaknesses. Life is harsh enough. But let them laugh. Let them know I love them. Let them know the world is their oyster and their dreams are a mere pursuit away. Let them know that the world is an interesting and fascinating and beautiful place. Let them know that people are intriguing, and multi-faceted. If they come across narrow minded, mean hearted individuals, which they inevitably will… let them see these as the minority. Let them seek out higher and sweeter, more encouraging and passionate friends. Let them know they deserve the absolute best. And again, that absolutely nothing is out of their reach.
Let them always shine with love and self-confidence. Let their eyes always sparkle and their laughs always come from their gut. Let my girls know how beautiful they are, but let them not be vain … and let them understand this is only one small piece of who they are. And let David seek out girls who are beautiful both inwardly and outwardly, and treat them tenderly and with respect. Let me teach him this. Let this be their normal. Let me never, ever raise my voice at them again, but speak only words of love.
I desire my children to have what I have this very moment…. Complete contentment.