I am a complete romantic. 100% sap. I love love. I love seeing the look in a girls eyes when she looks at the guy she loves. Or the tenderness in a mans touch as he caresses his lady. The chemistry you can feel in the air watching a couple in love.
But lately, I’m starting to become a bit of a cynic. Not in a bad way… at least I don’t think so. Admittedly, I have had some questions laced with sentiments I hope aren’t true… like does true love even exist? It seems to be there is always a loved and a lover. I wonder if there is even such a thing as a love where two people are truly, passionately in love with each other.
Maybe. Maybe not. I’m the girl with no answers. But I still believe in love, whatever its form.
However, I think we put too much stock in it. There are a plethora of songs and movies about losing our identity if we lose our love. As if we can’t live without a certain person in our lives.
It’s important, first and foremost, to love yourself. The thing is, loving yourself doesn’t come by focusing on yourself at all – but by loving life. Exploring interests. Discovering and pursuing passions.
The more vibrant your own life is, the happier you will be. With or without a lover. You become fulfilled in your own interests and passions, achievements and experiences. Along this journey, you meet wonderful and fascinating people.
Meet a variety of people
It is important to get to know a variety of people. One person may seem like the most amazing creature on the planet, but may not treat you as you deserve to be treated. The thing is, if this is all you know, you don’t even realize you are cutting yourself short. As you continue on your journey of life and exploration, you meet more fascinating, interesting people. You start to fit the pieces together. To recognize which characteristics resonate most with you as a person. What is truly important. And how you deserve to be treated.
This is true across cultures. People from different countries treat relationships differently, and it’s nice to experience the differences.
Independence is sexy
Independence is attractive. It is not only beneficial for you as a person to be confident in your own skin and happy with your own life, it is a beautiful characteristic. I am attracted to men who don’t need me – of course I want to be loved and feel needed – but also know that they are strong, happy and vibrant in and of themselves, with or without any woman. I was speaking with a man recently who said the same thing about women. I think it must be universally attractive – so why are we so scared of becoming that person? Why do we feel we need another person to affirm us?
Off the top of my head I can think of only one couple I know who seem to have a really beautiful and healthy relationship. They are clearly mad about each other, but they each have their own interests, their own lives. Some overlap. Some don’t. They support each other in pursuing their own individual interests. Encouraging each other to reach higher heights and live their best lives. Some moments are shared, some are not, but all in all they are in it together.
So, here’s to love – loving life, people, experiences, discovering new things and kindling new loves! Here’s to you!