Valentine’s Day is such a fun holiday… when you are in a romantic relationship! So, what if you’re not?
What is love?
Love is not a thing – something you have or don’t have based on your relationship status. Love is something you give & receive. It flows – a vibe, a connection, a care. It’s sharing happiness with another person or people. It is possible to be completely single and have more love in your life than you had in any relationship!
For Better or Worse…
A relationship doesn’t elevate your status or make you better than you are without one. Well, that’s not entirely true… there is one relationship that elevates your status and makes you better – the relationship you have with yourself!
Being single has allowed me the opportunity to shape my life, pursue my interests – discover new interests – and meet many fabulous people I likely wouldn’t have met otherwise. Life responsibilities aside, you are basically free to do what you want, when you want. Reflect on the perks of single life!
Re-write your Cinderella Story
Society places so much pressure on women to be in a relationship and it starts from the time we are little girls. Cinderella’s life is changed by meeting the right man. Snow White is awoken from her death with a kiss, and essentially her entire life turned around because of a man.
Now, don’t take me wrong – I am pure sap. I love a good love story – real or imagined! I love to see the chemistry between two lovers and I believe in the excitement and passion between a man and a woman BUT…
…if I were to challenge the Fairy Tale perspective, the irony is that the greatest gift of being single is to rediscover yourself.
I am my own True Love’s Kiss. It hasn’t been instantaneous like a kiss – in fact, there has been more blood, sweat and tears than kisses – it’s been through overcoming obstacle after obstacle but I’ve turned my life around and am shaping it in line with my own goals and dreams. And true to the Fairy Tales, I still love a killer pair of sparkly heels!
I may not have Cinderella’s palace or singing mice but my house is full of laughter, love, spontaneous kitchen dance parties and pillow fights (thank god I don’t have the mice!)
There’s something about Valentine’s Day though, isn’t there?
This is my third single Valentine’s Day and the first one where I didn’t dread being single on Valentine’s Day! Even still, I went to the shop yesterday and saw all the men congregated around the flowers, cards and chocolates and felt a flash of sadness that I wouldn’t be getting flowers or chocolates. It passed quickly. Then, this morning there were flowers and wrapped Valentine’s gifts on my front porch!! … but not for me! My children’s Dad had left a surprise for my kids. Another flash ouch! So, how to handle this?
First, remember you chose to be single. Any one of us could be in A relationship…but you know you deserve the best!
Second – buy yourself flowers! Or chocolate or wine…whatever YOU love. Spoil yourself. Indulge.
I learned this from one of my closest friends who lives in New York and is the only other single mom friend I have. She is amazing – gorgeous, smart, talented, funny, wise and one of the strongest people I know. She juggles her career, kids and shares my perspective on seeking to live the best possible life. One of my favourite things I have learned from her is to do something nice for yourself every day – be it a manicure, a both with candles or savouring a glass of wine.
The Greatest Love of All
The most important love relationship is the one you have with yourself. So, buy the flowers, eat some chocolate – indulge yourself and do something you love!
(I couldn’t resist posting this classic Whitney Houston song – I love this song!)