Author: Naomi Sirmans

The scariest week of my life

I had what I consider a life changing experience.  It was not fun and it was very scary.  But there’s always something about the difficult seasons in life that changes you for good. I got a concussion. This girl accidentally knocked me backwards off a platform – I fell straight back onto my head and cracked it open.  The days that followed were the scariest days of my life.  The first day I knew I wasn’t myself.  I felt confused.  Things that are commonplace to me were difficult and took far, far longer than normal.  The next day my speech was affected.  I wasn’t able to speak properly, and when I did speak, I would forget words or use words incorrectly.  I forgot some major things in my life, things about my kids which surprised and horrified me. Talking exhausted me – to the point my body would shut down and I’d need to sleep. It was like being teleported into the mind of a 95 year old. I was sent to the hospital twice. …

Taking a break from dating

So… you’re looking for love.  Why take a dating hiatus? I haven’t actually found love, so may not be in a position to answer this question. But I have taken a hiatus from dating.   This Is why I think taking a break from dating is the very best thing. You find yourself: Let’s face it.  Dating is time consuming. If you’ve been in it for any time at all, it’s also tiring.  Exhausting even. Taking a break allows you to find yourself.   As much as I’d love to say that during my hiatus, I’ve gone exploring, climbed mountains and written books, none of that would be true.  Let’s face it. I live in Ireland. It’s winter. And it’s cold! But I have read books, written – a lot – albeit privately – laughed, worked hard, had fun times with my friends and my kids, and have done a lot of soul searching.  Although I may not have gone on all of the adventures I’d ideally go on, I have adventures planned, and have had …

Here’s to 2019

We are three weeks into January, so perhaps a little late to be saying Happy New Year, but I’ve been all go lately and feel like I’m just settling in to the new year and all it has in store. I know a lot of people are sick of resolutions, because realistically, every day is a chance to start over and live the life you want.  I love that too – but there’s always something about starting a new year that makes me contemplative. I was lucky enough to go home for Christmas and New Years.  I just really love being home, especially with my brother and sister-in-law… they are family but also two of my closest friends.  I would absolutely love to have them as part of my day to day life, but nonetheless, just being home and with family was so refreshing!  We spent a week with my Dad and were with him for Christmas.  His health has been bad lately, and seems to be getting worse.  So I really loved having the …

I’m back…

It’s been a long time since I have written on here.  In fact, I pretty much forgot about this blog until a few months ago when someone mentioned it to me and asked why I stopped writing. This blog was therapeutic for me in my first years after my separation.  I was intentionally taking action to be the person I wanted to be, to live the life I wanted to live.  I wrote openly – both in this blog, and even more so privately.  I’ve had people tell me this blog reads like a journal.  Perhaps I am too open.  But this is who I am, and this is who I want to be! Life can harden you.  I’ve felt this within myself lately – it sometimes feel like the only way to get ahead is to emotionally detach yourself. And that very well may be true.  But I don’t want to.  I want to be soft.  I want to be real.  I want to hope.  I want to believe in the good.  Even if …

Life Changing Lessons from a Fish

Ever have days where you feel like you just can’t make it?  You have dreams and goals, but they just seem out of reach?  Ever want to be a better version of yourself than how you currently feel? Let me tell you about the African Cychlid Fish. There are two varieties of the male species, the T and NT fish.  The T fish is an alpha male sort, he is bright blue or yellow with striking black bands near his eyes.  He is well endowed, attractive to the female fish and dominates his territory with pride.   The NT fish, in contrast, is a dowdy grey, very similar to the female.  He is infertile with shrunken testes, and hides lurking in the shadows. The amazing thing is that NT fish have been known to become T fish.  It isn’t a caterpillar/butterfly thing, it’s not a stage or right of passage. However, it’s possible.  This often happens when an NT fish takes the territory that was previously dominated by a T fish, for whatever reason.  The …

A personal rant about what it’s really like to be a woman in business

I love my business.  I only just started, but I’m doing what I love and it’s going amazing.  But something happened this week that made me question everything.  If you are a man reading this, it may sound like a stupid or insignificant thing.  If you are a woman, perhaps you will understand.  That may sound sexist, but it’s not.   The truth is, there are differences between men and women and the challenges we face in life and business.  Men who are accepting of women and respectful of people may be blind to this.  The tide is changing and there are more women in business.  That fact is accepted.  But the reality is quite different. I went to Dublin earlier this week to cover a conference.  While there, I lumped together as many meetings as possible.  One of my meetings was with a man I had previously met with twice.  I had submitted a strategy and proposal, so since he wanted to meet, I naturally assumed it was to close the deal – or …

“You’re too pretty to be single”

“You’re too pretty to explore life” Of course nobody would use those words.  How about “You’re too pretty to take time for yourself, to do what you love, to work towards your dreams, to explore new interests” Chances are you won’t be hearing those words either. But there is a phrase I’m sure every single girl over the age of 25 has heard more times than they can count: “You’re too pretty to be single.” I understand this is meant as a compliment.  It’s always irked me.  First of all, I’m not a piece of merchandise sitting on a shelf.  The fact that I am single has nothing to do with my desirability.   I’m personalising this, but the message is true for anybody – if a person is single, it doesn’t mean they are less than desirable.  In fact, I have a lot of respect for people who don’t NEED another person as validation to their own identity. Being single isn’t a bad thing.  I was married for 12 years.  I got married quite young …