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I’m back…

It’s been a long time since I have written on here.  In fact, I pretty much forgot about this blog until a few months ago when someone mentioned it to me and asked why I stopped writing. This blog was therapeutic for me in my first years after my separation.  I was intentionally taking action to be the person I wanted to be, to live the life I wanted to live.  I wrote openly – both in this blog, and even more so privately.  I’ve had people tell me this blog reads like a journal.  Perhaps I am too open.  But this is who I am, and this is who I want to be! Life can harden you.  I’ve felt this within myself lately – it sometimes feel like the only way to get ahead is to emotionally detach yourself. And that very well may be true.  But I don’t want to.  I want to be soft.  I want to be real.  I want to hope.  I want to believe in the good.  Even if …

Life Changing Lessons from a Fish

Ever have days where you feel like you just can’t make it?  You have dreams and goals, but they just seem out of reach?  Ever want to be a better version of yourself than how you currently feel? Let me tell you about the African Cychlid Fish. There are two varieties of the male species, the T and NT fish.  The T fish is an alpha male sort, he is bright blue or yellow with striking black bands near his eyes.  He is well endowed, attractive to the female fish and dominates his territory with pride.   The NT fish, in contrast, is a dowdy grey, very similar to the female.  He is infertile with shrunken testes, and hides lurking in the shadows. The amazing thing is that NT fish have been known to become T fish.  It isn’t a caterpillar/butterfly thing, it’s not a stage or right of passage. However, it’s possible.  This often happens when an NT fish takes the territory that was previously dominated by a T fish, for whatever reason.  The …

A personal rant about what it’s really like to be a woman in business

I love my business.  I only just started, but I’m doing what I love and it’s going amazing.  But something happened this week that made me question everything.  If you are a man reading this, it may sound like a stupid or insignificant thing.  If you are a woman, perhaps you will understand.  That may sound sexist, but it’s not.   The truth is, there are differences between men and women and the challenges we face in life and business.  Men who are accepting of women and respectful of people may be blind to this.  The tide is changing and there are more women in business.  That fact is accepted.  But the reality is quite different. I went to Dublin earlier this week to cover a conference.  While there, I lumped together as many meetings as possible.  One of my meetings was with a man I had previously met with twice.  I had submitted a strategy and proposal, so since he wanted to meet, I naturally assumed it was to close the deal – or …

“You’re too pretty to be single”

“You’re too pretty to explore life” Of course nobody would use those words.  How about “You’re too pretty to take time for yourself, to do what you love, to work towards your dreams, to explore new interests” Chances are you won’t be hearing those words either. But there is a phrase I’m sure every single girl over the age of 25 has heard more times than they can count: “You’re too pretty to be single.” I understand this is meant as a compliment.  It’s always irked me.  First of all, I’m not a piece of merchandise sitting on a shelf.  The fact that I am single has nothing to do with my desirability.   I’m personalising this, but the message is true for anybody – if a person is single, it doesn’t mean they are less than desirable.  In fact, I have a lot of respect for people who don’t NEED another person as validation to their own identity. Being single isn’t a bad thing.  I was married for 12 years.  I got married quite young …

Bad day?

This post is more of a personal chat over a glass of wine than a formal blog post.  I woke up this morning and received some bad news.  Nothing major, yet it hit me where it hurts and sent me spinning.  I felt overwhelmed and like life is one step forward, two steps back.  Yesterday, I secured a contract that I really wanted and was feeling very happy about the success of my business.  I was telling a friend of mine how I can totally understand how certain high power women stay single.  I get such a buzz from my business.  When things go well, I get this high that parallels the thrill of falling in love – only it’s deeper because it’s rooted in something I created myself. Today, I got sucker-punched.  We all have those days though, don’t we?  My little bit of bad news skewed my entire life perspective.  Instead of feeling like I can do anything I set my mind to, (a sentiment I believe and ‘felt’ only yesterday) today I …

Girl Power

Lately I have been overwhelmed at all my girl friends.  I am lucky to know some incredibly amazing and inspiring people – and having amazing girl friends adds so much to your life.  Girls have a reputation for being bitchy and jealous and tearing each other down.  I’ve never had room for that. It’s funny though, I have met my share of girls like that.  When my marriage was falling apart I was in a really low place – I was working really hard to start a career after taking time to be with my kids so that I could support myself.  I was studying at night and emotionally I was in turmoil.  The day after I separated I was a mess, I went to do what I needed to do but didn’t look my normal put-together self.  I had a friend at the time who I considered to be quite close.  Throughout our friendship she had made little jabs about my appearance, putting me down but in a joking manner.  I had a few …

Single on Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day is such a fun holiday… when you are in a romantic relationship!  So, what if you’re not? What is love? Love is not a thing – something you have or don’t have based on your relationship status. Love is something you give & receive.  It flows – a vibe, a connection, a care.  It’s sharing happiness with another person or people.  It is possible to be completely single and have more love in your life than you had in any relationship! For Better or Worse… A relationship doesn’t elevate your status or make you better than you are without one.  Well, that’s not entirely true… there is one relationship that elevates your status and makes you better – the relationship you have with yourself! Being single has allowed me the opportunity to shape my life, pursue my interests – discover new interests – and meet many fabulous people I likely wouldn’t have met otherwise.  Life responsibilities aside, you are basically free to do what you want, when you want.  Reflect on the perks …